An ongoing review of Talenti flavors; last updated 1/13/12

Talenti is ah-ma-zing. And it comes in reusable containers that you (I mean I) can use for taking leftovers to work and not having them leak everywhere, making kimchi, mixing salad dressing, mixing hair color (do not eat), and storing stuff. I can recycle/throw them away without feeling guilty if I’ve given them at least 1 second life. 

More importantly, the flavors. I’m going through each one by one. I’ve only repeated my fave, the Black Cherry (Black Cherries in sweet cream that you just want to rub all over you face). 

Caveat: I prefer fruit flavors over other flavors and vanilla over chocolate. I like stuff in my ice cream—chocolate, nuts, fruit bits, swirls of things. I like flavor combos more than straight flavors, but if a straight strawberry is good, then I’m into it. I’m pretty sure my opinions are basically facts, though. Hagen Daas is my fave brand of commercial ice cream. Fuck Ben & Jerry’s (too creamy + fatty, usually makes me sick, flavors are more gimicky than interesting/delicious, except for you Cherry Garcia). 

Here we go. 

Gelato

Banana Chocolate Swirl - 3/5, it’s ok but I’m rarely really craving banana dessert; banana is a vehicle for peanut butter or a way to make my peanut butter toast marginally healthier. Bananas Foster Hagen Daas was my fave because it tasted like butter and sugar and banana…this is probably amazing if you LOVE banana. For me, I’d pick Black Cherry over it.

Belgian Milk Chocolate - haven’t tried, sounds lame

Black Cherry - 5/5 THIS IS THE BEST ONE ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTIONS. Cherry bits in sweet cream. It’s not too cherry, it’s not too creamy. It is nothing like Cherry Garcia (not to knock CG, it’s just not the same). This biz is for adults. There’s no chocolate in it. It’s just sweet, smooth, slightly fruity, creamy awesomeness in your mouth. If I have this around, I will eat it in tiny bites straight from the container and I will try to stop but it’s just so goooood. And I’ll tell myself that gelato is better than ice cream because there’s more milk and less cream and it’s ok. 

Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip - 4/5 needs more raspberry flavor but overall this is serious yum, 1 step down from Black Cherry

Cappuccino - haven’t tried, could be good if it’s actually bitter + a hint of sweet + cream. I like bitter.

Caramel Cookie Crunch - haven’t tried, not super interested but I suppose there’s potential

Caribbean Coconut - haven’t tried but I love coconut; surprised this isn’t a gelato, though

Coffee Chocolate Chip - haven’t tried, sounds fine, not that exciting

Chocolate Chip Stracciatella - haven’t tried, but I love vanilla so I’ll give it a shot. 

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup - haven’t tried, not sophisticated enough. Talenti, I thought you were better than this. Moose trails? pls.

Double Dark Chocolate - haven’t tried, not that interested in just chocolate ice cream but double dark > milk choc

Mediterranean Mint (pictured) - 4/5 Pretty good. Lots of little bits of chocolate and the mint is really sweet, not sharp like peppermint, but smooth and softer like mint in Moroccan mint tea. Bright green because of…alfalfa extract! Lol…but all natural.

Sea Salt Caramel - 2/5 disappointing; salted caramel is tasty and I had some amazing salted caramel ice cream last week that tasted like toffee with an awesome burnt undertone. This tastes way too sweet, like the caramels you buy at halloween time to make homemade caramel apples. Bleck. Never again. 

Sicilian Pistachio - 4/5, good pistachio flavor, few pistachio bits, smooth, sweet…it’s good, if you love pistachio you’ll love this. I think pistachio is just ok so probably wouldn’t buy again but I recognize that it’s good. I might need to pair it with the strawberry…

Simply Strawberry - haven’t tried, but delicious strawberry gelato is one of life’s finer pleasures so it better be good

Tahitian Vanilla - 3/5 really disappointing. Considering how awesome the cream in the Black Cherry is, this should be better. Not a lot of vanilla flavor, not a lot of sweet cream flavor…overwhemlingly eggy, actually, and there’s no egg in it. Gelato isn’t made from a custard. I like how it’s more milky than fatty, but…no vanilla flecks? Hagen Daas is better. Tsk tsk.

Toasted Almond - 4/5 this is actually amazing and delicious. I did try it on a hot summer day so it could have been desperation for something cool and creamy that made me love it but I think it was delish, a little sweet + salty + nutty. Upon second tasting, it has sugar coated almonds in it and it is pretty much on par with the cherry one. Creamy with a little marzipan-y nommy ness.

Sorbet

Srsly fuck sorbet.

I kid, I kid. I’m slowly backing off of dairy so I should embrace sorbet…I just haven’t yet because HELLUR GELATO IS DELICIOUS. I will get to you, sorbet.

Alphonso Mango - haven’t tried; will need to beat Hagen Daas’s mango sorbet

Blood Orange Sorbet - haven’t tried, it will need to beat Ciao Bella’s blood orange sorbet by being less sugary.

Lisbon Lemon Sorbet - haven’t tried but lemon italian ice = nom so it’s probably awesome.

Roman Raspberry - 3/5 This is fine, it’s like a raspberry popsicle, maybe a little sweet but acceptable.